Wednesday Tidbits.

The iphone will finally arrive at Verizon.

According to Bloomberg news, the iphone is slated to arrive at Verizon in January, right on time to miss all of the Christmas holiday sales.  Sweet.  That means you no longer have to be penalized from AT&T for using all of the cool features and unlimited online time that the iphone has to offer because you were encouraged to do so from Apple. Its the one hand doesn't talk to the other thing, you know how it goes.

Most people who I have surveyed have said that Verizon does have better service.  I have had both services at the same time AT&T and Verizon and Verizon wins.  I am not going by this graph either.

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The bait and switch has happened.  After HULU got us all hooked on free online television like crackheads,

they decide to charge for the best shows and services now for 10 dollars a month.  Because of this HULU will fall like Napster did.  Who wants to go from free to paying for the same stuff we got for free?  We all know how this will end.  The TV shows and companies and unions will want a cut of sales from HULU so at some point the price will go up. bah.  source

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The ipad will have even more competition soon.

vs.

First Google announced their "Ipad Kiler" which will run on Android software.
Then Microsoft, Exo PC,Nokia and HP announced that they also were working on the same kind of device.
Now Cisco is branching out with its own tablet called the Cius.  It will launch next year.
The Cius will have 2 cameras, run on Android and WiFi plus Broadband ready. It will also have the ability to use external mice, keyboards and monitors (presumably using USB)

This already sounds like a winner to me.  Don't worry Ipad lovers, I am sure that by the time the fourth generation ipad is released, they will have one camera installed and have that pesky wifi issue resolved.

Why moms don't care about processors and other gibberish.

My mom, who I love dearly asked my advice on what type of netbook to buy.  I suggested that she buy an Asus.  I've had a great experience with my EeePc since I've had it for a couple of years now.  I wrote all of the information down and told her where to go to order it.

Fast forward a couple of weeks...

She tells me that she has her mini-laptop and wanted me to see it and set it up for her.  I told her fine, I want to tell her about all of the features.  Well, when I arrived and saw what she bought, my mouth dropped.  First, it wasn't an Asus but she bought an Acer.  I explained to her that she bought the wrong machine and suggested that she return it.  This was not meant to be a review but it is looking like one.  I had to tell her that the problem with Acer machines (particularly their netbooks) were the fan and the hard drive.  She said that hers seem fine (keep in mind she just took it out of the box.)  She told me that when I talk tech that she has no clue on what the hell I am talking about so she just says yes to everything I say.

I asked her if she got a warranty and she told me yes so at least if she was going to take a risk like that, she will have some ways of getting a hardware replacement part if needed.  I kept trying to get her to change her mind about returning it.  She suggested that I was making a big deal about nothing since both machines are similar looking.  She told me that she got the brand names mixed up and they sounded too similar so she figured what was the difference anyway.  She said that she will keep the receipt just in case. I gave up at that point.  She wasn't trying to hear me.  Mom wins again.


Before I left the room. I asked her why she insisted on keeping this one.

She said:   "Its red."

You're holding it wrong!

No, that is not what my ex-boyfriend told me while we were in bed, that is the response from Apple regarding the highly publicized issues with the iphone4

As a tech person I understand the nature of complaining.  I work in an environment of complainers. You have users that complain that something isn't working correctly. 65% of the time, its user error and not mechanical.

What happens when user error collides with design flaw?

Steve Jobs in a statement has said that "There is no reception issue. Stayed tuned" when it comes to the Iphone4.  He sounds more like a publicist.  Publicists are paid liars whose job is to make the client (in this case device) look as good as possible, they block things from their client, prevent other things from happening, all for its image.  "Stayed tuned" means that they are frantically behind the scenes trying to find a way to fix it. It is likely that it will be a software update but in my humble opinion a hardware issue needs a hardware update.  Plain and simple, its a design flaw in which I am sure when the next model iphone comes out (and you know it will) the antenna that works the signal will be in a different spot.

Apple just may send out free bumper covers for everyone.  They don't have much of a choice.  They better be free or they risk pissing off a lot of customers.   Its either that or refund all the left handed customers.  Or just taunt them and tell them to be right-handed like everyone else and hold it in that hand, which is kinda what they have been doing for the past week or so.  Sorry but its the truth.  The Left-Handers Club does not find this amusing either.  He should be more sensitive since he holds his in his left hand also.  Just because everyone doesn't hold their phone extra dainty like he does doesn't mean that they are in the wrong.

I think the possible class action lawsuit may make the free bumper proposal stick.  source

I don't agree with lawsuits either.  Just send it back and go to another phone retailer if you are stuck with AT&T (I am sorry for you if you are.)


Now what makes this interesting is that Nokia has taken this opportunity to showcase how many ways you can use their phones.  You can even hold it with your left hand *gasp*

source  source2

Windows 8 (This is not a typo)

I do realize that I am late with today's post.  Sorry.  My computer and website were acting such an ass yesterday that I finally recovered this afternoon.



Windows 8 preview leaked today.  Yes you heard it here!  Windows 8.  I haven't upgraded to Windows 7 yet. (I will explain that in a later post.)
 
I certainly hope that Microsoft isnt doing what Mac has become notorious for.  You buy a new product of theirs and 40 minutes later, its already old. 
 
According to CNET, some leaked documents about Windows 8 tend to take cues from Apple.  Its offering a store (which I thought they had already, it just sucked a little, well okay a whole lot.)  They are also in not so many words taking cues from the recent popular iphone/ipads and making their new product more responsive and hands on by using the Kinect motion-sensing accessory.  This technology was made popular in the XBOX 360.  Windows 8 will also get James Bond on us and have to software to be able to use a webcam to identify users of the machine, and check this out, if the machine is in sleep mode (that dreaded sleep/hibernate mode)  it will know if someone is in the room and wake up, you know like you would if some creep walked around a room while you were sleeping.  It gets even better, when you leave the room, it goes back to sleep.
 
Okay just reading this creeps me the hell out.  I really am not sure if I want a machine knowing my every move.  This kinds makes Apple's tracking software that they have installed on all their machines look basic and old school.
 
Does Windows 8 question why you did not come home last night?  Does it ask who you were hanging with while it waited for you to come back? 
 
So Windows 8 is basically your parents.  I am freaked out now...   I am going out for fresh air.
 
 
This is the only 8 I want to hear about right now...
 

 
 
source source 2

IT people + Alcohol = Unfortunate Circumstances

It takes a special person to be involved in IT.  It involves patience.  Lots of it. If you dont have any then you fit into the unfortunate stereotype that many people in IT face which is very mean. (I am not one of those people)

Now when I consume alcohol, all bets are off.  I am considered petite and is an infrequent drinker so whenever the occasion I do decide to drink alcohol, the results are embarrising to some, hillarious to others.  I just dont hold my drinks well.  (Don't get any ideas.)

An IT manager on a United Emerates flight to Manchester (England) returned to court recently for a charge of disorderly conduct after he was arrested after drinking the equivalent of two and a half bottles of wine during the flight, which in a lot of places in England is brunch.  Apparently he had insulting remarks towards the passengers who sat in front of him.  He called the female passenger an "old ****"  I have no idea what the 4 stars in the article mean.  In the US we just use the standard insult "bitch."   source

As Stephanie Tanner would say:

I bet he did not have access to the internet or phones, otherwise he would have had something to distract him on the flight.  It beats the sounds of wild children , old people talking to you about what they did 65 years ago and snoring.

The Internet Kill Switch

Okay so picture this:  you are at your desk surfing whatever it is that you are surfing (don't worry I wont tell anyone about the site you visit to look at naked people) and all of a sudden the internet stops working or you are getting that dreaded "Page cannot be displayed." message.  No its not the cable company effing with you, it could be that the POTUS (President of the United States - for all of you not familiar with online gibber wibber)  disabling the internet because of a national emergency.  Yes you heard this correctly.

The US Senate just approved a Kill Switch plan that gives the President the power to disable the internet.   The POTUS may declare a cybersecurity emergency and order the limitation or shutdown of Internet traffic to and from any compromised Federal government or United States critical infrastructure information system or network. This does not mean that it will affect you directly unless the emergency is so dire that drastic action will need to be taken.   It is still in draft mode in which the final bill that passes with have lots of changes in it.  Source

I can imagine that the so called "switch" is nothing more than just a few phone calls to other people to tell then to cut it off.  Just like the nuclear bomb button is probably set up the same way.  I am sure that these switches are not under his desk somewhere where he could accidentally push it with his knee, like you see in the movies.  Can you imagine how many people have been under that desk? i.e. Kennedy and Obama's kids, Monica Lewinski etc.

I would not worry about this being abused.  (At least not now.)

Frankly this whole thing sounds like an Austin Powers sequel (I want my credit when they make this into a movie.  You know Hollywood is running out of ideas.)  I can totally see Dr. Evil saying "Kill Switch" with his quote hands.

A quick lesson on how the universe works: Jason Bateman edition

Hollywood Actor Jason Bateman caused controversy recently when he cut a very long line of people waiting for the iphone4. I hate line cutters just like the next person. Reportedly the crowd booed him. Don’t worry, the universe has a way of dealing with people like that. source


You see, Jason Bateman is left handed so that awesome Iphone4 is useless when he loses a call due to his left hand covering the antenna.  (See post dated Thrusday, June 24th) 






 

Why won’t Microsoft and Macintosh invite Linux to the party?

I was on YouTube and watching some tech commercials (yeah go ahead and get the “You are lame ass!” jokes out. I’ve heard it before.) Anyway, I came across the very popular I’m a Mac/I’m a PC commercials. Where are the I’m a Linux or I’m a chubby penguin commercials?

Why weren’t they included? I mean Linux is popular. It has to be. Anything that is free is popular around these parts. IBM supports it. *shrugs* Aren’t both these companies just a little threatened that there is a third OS out there that many users rate high and is gaining popularity?




Not yet. I will tell you why.


Linux is free which those who are not tech savvy and use tech products think: “It’s free, it must be bad, operating systems are supposed to cost hundreds of dollars.” Not necessarily so. As of matter of fact Linux (as you already may know) was developed by developers. You know those people who actually mind how smoothly an OS runs. Go here if you want to see more http://www.linux.org/

Okay so the wavy colorful flag and the shiny gray fruit are not threatened by free and awesome underground products. I wonder in five years will we then have Windows vs. Apple vs. Google? Yes you read this correctly. Google is developing their own OS for netbooks and laptops that run just like their smaller handheld droid counterparts. Dell is also considering putting Google chrome on their netbooks. Toshiba already has the AC1000 which is already running on Android OS. source

It’s not available in the US yet. Don’t worry, I am sure Steve Jobs and Bill Gates are talking to lawmakers to make sure it never gets over here. But wait, Google’s OS would be free and its likely you will pay for just the hardware. So will it fly under the radar like Linux or will it piggyback off the popularity of its baby sibling the Android? Apple already had this concept with the Ipad. They just made the Iphone about 5 times bigger so I am sure that Google’s OS laptop model will be about the same. Windows did the whole thing backwards. Computers first then the tiny partners.

We will see. Considering Apple has dropped their computer comparison commercials for now and focusing on their Ipads and Iphones and Windows 7 now being the most used OS in the world, I am sure nothing will be done until their bottom line if affected.

Workplace lady

 

I think this is a recurring theme in the tech world office.  You have one female tech person and 40 male techs around.  Now as a single female you would think my odds of finding a partner match would be phenomenal.    Well…no. 

I will break it down for you.

Out of those 40 guys:

1. 15 of them are married (unless I am loose with my vagina then this statistic is null)

2. 7 of them are dating someone (see #1 for exception)

4. 5 of them are so unfortunate looking that you just have to look the other way.

5. 5 are old so they probably resentful that they let women in the workplace. 

6. 3 of them are divorced with a bunch of kids and probably very bitter right now.

6. 2 of them are gay…but hell to me a dick is a dick right? I’d still hit it under the right circumstances.

5.  This leaves me 3 guys to choose from.  2 of them live with mom so if I date them, I am dating mom too in which means I have to sit all day and listen to her tell me about her son’s allergies.

That leaves 1 real datable guy, which there is only a 50 percent chance that I am even compatible with him.

Don’t you love it!

This is just one of the things that some of us deal with on a daily basis.  It’s tough being a girl in this industry.  No matter how good you are you will always be looked upon less than your male counterparts.  That will change one day.   When people call for tech support, they ask for the guys first (even though they know that you do the same thing.)  The female callers are the worse offenders with this.  (Girl-power my ass!)  They will come to you when there are no other options.  This is not a testament of how good or bad you are, it’s the condition of the climate.  

When people think of tech support, they think of :
 

If he is black then probably this:  

Rest assured I look nothing like the female version of the above.  I am quite the girly girl in which some may say is a contributor to why people may not choose me first.  My boobs are at attention (quite a lot actually but not on purpose)  However, this is part of the workplace climate.  People have it conditioned in their minds of what tech people should be.  I am sure if tech guys looked like this:    

people would not doubt them as hard as they do female techs. 

Things are changing.  Barbie has a new Tech version of herself coming out this winter.  Uber feminist may hate it but I love it.  Tech women are just as hot and capable as their male counterparts.  I can fix your machine in 4-inch heels too. (Trust me I have done it and it is possible.)

I am not a  true complainer about it, otherwise I would not be in this business.  I find a lot of humor in the whole setup.

iPhone 4. To the left, to the left... okay well maybe not.

According to Apple insider, you may lose your calls more often if you are left handed than right handed.  That really slick looking metal bar around the phone and the metal piece on the right side of the phone  may be the problem.  If you cover that area or even just touch it which is the point where the two antennas meet, the phone can lose the signal and drop your call.  Source

Everyone at Apple must be right handed.

I’m Bringing Sexy App

The prediction is coming true sooner than I thought.

Apple has an app that can cure erectile dysfunction.  It’s called Fire Up your Sex Drive.  It uses sound waves for a few minutes everyday for about a month to sync with your brain, which is supposed to make you aroused. .  I am all for it!  I am not putting any link on here to get it, you are going to have to find that yourself.

Because there are lots of perverts out there, this should be a hit.  There are no reviews on it yet because who in their right mind will admit to using it?   Apple already knows where you live (see post dated Wednesday, June 23, 2010) and now they will know if you got a limp penis.  Freaking awesome.

Now while seeing this is wonderful, I cannot help but to be a bit disappointed in the amount of products that are geared toward making females excited. With all of these newly aroused men around here, there be aroused females no? I want to enjoy sexy times with the guy who has the erection.  No fun if I can’t do things too.  It’s kind of a mismatch to me.

I like that every part of our lives will have an app soon.  I got one right now that tells me when my period is coming.  I can warn everyone around me that in 5 days I will turn into the exorcist. 

I need to get into the app game and come up with something that will make people want to download it on their devices.  It doesn’t have to serve a real purpose, you know like the popular fart app or the one shake boob app. (Where is the shaking penis app huh?)

I have some suggestions for apps:

Laugh-track button – Anyone who says anything that is bullshit you can just press the laugh track button and have a studio audience burst out in laughter.

Disappear Button -  Ever been in a situation where you just want to disappear but can’t.  Just press the app button and you will turn into a lamp post (don’t look at the screen that way, it’s coming, mark my words.)

Shrink Me app – You ate too much over the winter so this will be great for you. It’s an app that works like Body Magic or Spanks.  Turn that size 61 halter top to size 16 in an instant with a press of a button.  No more Spongebob body shape for you.  This would be a hit.  It could potentially reach 65 percent of the US population.

This!!!

This Launches July 4, 2010!!

Wednesday tidbits

 First off, Futurama is back!  source

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, Facebook's CEO says that he has noticed a drop of users.  source 

I cannot wait until I can say that.  Well not right now because there is no one here yet but you know what I am trying to say.  I hate that I find this Mark Zuckerberg guy kinda hot.  From outside appearances he gives me a Fry from Futurama vibe which I find interesting, of course without the pumpkin colored hair.

You know, I think Fry will be the theme for today's post.

For all of you who have purchased an Iphone or Ipad recently, it is pretty safe to say that Apple probably already knew you were going to do so.  Kinda creepy.  Well they have this new tool that actually stores your precise locations built into these devices.  They want to know when you take a shit, you'll have your iphone with you. Yes they are collecting real time geographical information as you read this post on your iphone and is sharing this information with their partners and licensees.  They have this hidden in the terms of agreement when you download and install new apps. Didn't know that did you?  Thats because you do what I and countless other people do, just scroll down real quick and hit I agree.  I mean who has time to read all that shit?  Apple knows you don't.

You can opt out of this by going into the Location Services page under settings and opt out.  I wonder why there isn't any outrage about the privacy settings on this machine and yet a website is experiencing troubles due to their privacy settings?  I think the point of it is that they want to get you to buy things that are in your vicinity so its sort of like spam, but more accurate spam.  Instead of regular spam like trying to get you to buy viagra (just wait they will know if you will need that too based on which houses you visited recently) they will try to get you to the nearest apple store or hipster clothing shop down the street from you.

I am not picking on Apple here because this is happening with a lot of new software.  Windows, Android  as well as all telecommunications companies partake in this practice also.  I just chose this subject to discuss because there are articles out there about it like this one Source.

Apples, Windows and Relationships

Apple products in general are sexy.  Windows products are standard.  Let me do a generic comparison. 

Windows is your husband that you spend your life with. (You know that thick and thin, sickness and health, rich or poor stuff.) Mac is your hot sidepiece that you bang when your husband doesn't feel like putting out.  But what happens when your husband stops putting out or providing for your needs altogether?  Do you stay in this relationship to show people that you are loyal even when your happiness is now at stake?  Do you stay with what is popular with people and have been the standard or do you go with the new slicker innovative piece that could change your life for the better and bring some excitement to it?  No one is the same person that they were 20 years ago. (Lets hope not.)  What made you content then may have changed by now. You realize that your life is shorter and you have to decide whether you want to live with the mundane.

You may divorce your husband one day, that moment will come when your hot side piece is able to provide the same things that your husband did (plus more.)  That hot sidepiece becomes your pride, the very thing you show off to people who will most definitely be impressed and jealous that you have it.

There is a point to this post (I think) just bare with me.

The point is, some people may go their whole lives with the same, what is comfortable and not take chances with new items.  That is fine, however you never know whether or not there is more to learn if you don't give things a try.  I had to take this approach with dealing with using Apple items on a daily basis.  When I was introduced to using a Macintosh machine at work over my standard Windows Desktop PC, I was hesitant.  After some use and loving some of its features, especially the high quality built in camera which has turned me narcissistic at my desk (thanks apple) I have come to realize that there is room for the sexy and the standard.  I will say that neither has the monopoly on everything.  Each has some qualities that the other is lacking.

So I like both for now.  I have a husband and a side piece (figuratively speaking)  

Does this make me a tech whore?

Day 1

June 21, 2010

After nearly having a breakdown due to high blood pressure and spending myself broke to start up this business, Easy Learn Computer Consulting is born. Okay yes, I am being absolutely nuts for starting a tech business all by myself but I figure that I should just give it a try. Since this is the very first post about the business I guess I should explain what the heck is happening.

The point of the site is for people to learn something. I wanted the site to be appealing and easy to understand. I know it will take years to build an audience but I think that the process will be enjoyable.

This specific blog is won't be solely for tech things. A lot of my opinions will be on this blog, but I will try to stay fair in my assessment. I can't promise that some of my out of this world rants and totally random off topic events won't appear here also. If any group understands breakdowns and the daily shenanigans of the tech world it will be people who visit the site (and also those who are just generally bonkers.)